*** I am not a professional counselor and am only sharing my own personal life experiences and opinions.
You’re either the greatest thing in the world or pure trash in the eyes of the narcissist. It all depends upon what best fits their need at the time. Often, the jabs are so severe and personal that they know that the victim’s own potential embarrassment will keep them from sharing it with others. Likewise, the community as a whole only sees the good done by the narcissist. Therefore, the children (or adult children) are the only ones aware of the multiple personas. It is my belief that narcissists are aware of how shocking most people would find their statements and actions. However, revenge and their own desire and ability to shape the way they are viewed by others makes it worth the risk. There is always a risk of exposure which is often greatly feared by the narcissist. There is no empathy conveyed through their words and actions. Growing up in such a household is filled with trauma which fuels constant domestic issues.
